Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue,...

Waiting has never been one of my strong suits. As the song says, "I want, what I want, and I want it now!" A kind of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory thing, only I don't want the world. I just want my commitments to be completed (over with) so I can focus on other things.  Anyone out there ever do that? You agree to do a thing, then when it comes close to time to doing the thing, you slap that bumper sticker on your hiney, "I'd rather be [fill in the blank]ing".

It's truly horrible of me, I know! Trust me. So what does a trying-to-be-enlightened person do about her reticence to fulfill her obligations? Poke it! Prod it! Flip it!

OK so here goes. I dunnwanna do this presentation thing!
OK why?
[pouty faced] CUZ!

OK that didn't work. Let's try this.  What are you feeeeeling when you think of doing this presentation?
Uhm...a little skeered I guess.
OK GOOD! We can work with that. Ok so what are you skeered of?
You mean other than being a complete idiot in front of several women I know and respect? Yeah, I guess there's being a complete idiot in front of the ones I don't know very well either.

Why would you think you would look like an idiot?
Not feeling prepared. Not feeling like I'm "feeling" the presentation yet (and it's in 3 days). Not feeling like I'll have enough time to get my shit together since I'm also preparing for my sister-in-law from Norway to come and visit (she arrives tomorrow night).

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of doing the presentation?
It's beautiful.
Wait, what?
Huh...yeah. It's totally beautiful. The fear, the shuffling for readiness, the idea of being an idiot to a bunch of women I know (and don't know very well) and respect.  Wow. What a cool opportunity to stop being in this comfort zoney kind of place. What a cool opportunity to let go of all that crap about being an idiot and being skeered. The wish to push it all away and get it over with is all some big psychological protection mechanism to avoid stretching out and reaching beyond what is comfy.

I guess what I should be saying is Perspective is a Virtue.
Yeah, beautiful.

Thanks doc.